Family Dynamics of Caregiving - Part 3

Jeremy Nachtigall • August 16, 2021

In Part 2 of "Family Dynamics of Caregiving", I discussed how best to deal with the impact on family dynamics while acting as a caregiver.  Finally, let's discuss how to determine what is in your family member's best interests.


How do you determine what is in mom or dad’s best interests and who should take charge? The caregiving landscape is complex and multi-faceted, So leverage the different strengths and time-availability of family members to create and execute a cohesive plan. A Daily Money Manager, who can act as your quarterback should be consulted. This care professional should be able to provide a comprehensive network of resources, financial management expertise, and experience in coordinating complex administrative and logistical matters.

From the perspective of financial caregiving, cost of living expenses and future costs of care are important items to consider. A DMM can help you budget for future or unforeseen expenses and in analyzing your cash flows. It should also be noted that Medicaid may be used as a part of your long-term care financing strategy. This is a topic that should be discussed with your Elder Law Attorney.


The last thing your parents want to see is infighting amongst their children. Compromise and collaborate with your siblings for the best solution. Families who use professionals, like a DMM, to help mediate these situations experience calm, reasonable discussions as opposed to unproductive internal family disputes which aren't helpful and lead to wasted time and money.


Many older adults would prefer to remain at home if the cost of care is not prohibitive or the type of care required can be administered at home. But the fear of the unknown leads to stress. Families should be aware that there are many resources available to help in these situations, you don’t have to go it alone. In situations where there may be differing opinions, sophisticated planning strategies, lack of time, or if physical distance is an issue, families will engage with a Daily Money Manager as their eyes and ears on the ground, who is able to bring order and clarity to the discussion and add valuable input to the financial and life plan of your loved ones. Working with a third party like a DMM, to mediate and offer an objective ear, or to help “keep the peace” and “get things done” is a prudent course of action.

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